Misunderstandings

 Seeing things differently

Most 7 year olds don’t have a care in the world

When I was 7 my whole entire world was completely different.

I had to look out for them.

 ‘Its okay they will be back soon’

We knew things we shouldn’t have known at that age. 

I had to protect them from that. 

I have to keep them safe. 

 

I went to call the police sometimes when it would get bad, I didn’t know what else to do but it was too loud. 

My Dad saw it as me interfering!

  

Social services came one night and everything changed 

I was expected to act like a sister but I wasn’t just a sister, I never had been.

 

Everyone saw it different to me. 

I felt lost

left

estranged

abandoned. 

 

I didn’t feel like I could trust. 

I tested the boundaries,

  

It was so hard being normal, being sisters. It became a struggle so I made a decision to leave.

 

Nagging feeling of guilt

Empty

Exhausted

Confused

Estranged

Alone

Responsible

 

 

The pressure was still there, it still is

 

What about them though?

Why wouldn’t she let me see them?

Contact….

Contact failed because the wrong person was being listened to

 

I supposed contact makes the social worker think - will it cause them to become unsettled?

 

I started looking for ways to cope

I tried telling them but it just came out in anger

They were listening with their ears not their hearts

I didn’t know how to

 

 

The bond between us became weaker in time because we didn’t know the little things about each other anymore

 

Reactions all the time

Less time to think, only time to react

  

We want to feel loved

We need hugs and to be told we matter to someone

We didn’t choose this

 

There was so much confusion and hurt behind what we did

We cried a lot

Together and on our own

 

Now, things things are changing and they are changing in the right way.

 

We needed each other then 

We need each other now.

 

Our bond was sown back together wrong because of misunderstandings

We will unpick it in time and make it right I know we will,

but I know how much of a struggle that’s going to be. 

 

This piece starts with a powerful opening line and only gets stronger from there. Its language, pace and structure does a great job in conveying the situation that the author is facing and offers hope that their strength and determination will get them through.  Well done and best wishes. Thanks for sharing.  Keep writing!

Tony Walsh